I did some homework today, trying to keep ahead of the semester so that the trip to Phoenix and the folks coming out the weekend afterward doesn't cause too much havoc.
I worked on the videos page.
And when you've lived with it for 44 years, I suppose, Dr. Google doesn't strike you as a serious place to find any information, much less medical information. It never occurred to me to google it, precisely because I'm a nurse. I've had access to dozens of pulmonologists over the years. I've had access to some cardiothoracic surgeons over the years, too....(sadly, none that I would have allowed near me with a scalpel.)
One pulmonologist I trusted told me, "Go to New York. Don't waste your time here." And at the time, that seemed....like I was making a big fuss over nothing, or that it's unreasonable to travel for a procedure. If the U didn't do it, then maybe it really is too risky. A trip to NYC for the weekend sounds fun, but going there for a surgery was somehow something completely different.
So. We shall see. I'm going to Phoenix to find out.
Oh, and I did do a little digging into the physician that Tami, the paramedic talked about. He's four years out of fellowship, so I asked somebody I could trust about such things...(i.e. if your mom needed cardiothoracic surgery, where would you send her?) I got a different name, a more senior attending. I haven't ruled out going to see him to see what he has to say. I'm going to go ahead and schedule a surgery with Dr. J, but I'll be waiting for six months. So I'm not in a hurry to see this guy. Besides, I know his answer will be that he'd likely be willing to consider the Ravitch for me. It's probably worth 45 minutes of my time to talk to him. Especially if Dr. J can't do the Nuss for me. So. Maybe February, when I'll probably be squirrely from the wait. (As opposed to now...?)
At the moment, building stuff for this blog...I read what I wrote in September that I want to run a 5K. That sounds as ridiculous and stupid to me right now as if I would suddenly sprout wings and fly off to Dharmasala. Seriously. Maybe with a tail, too.
Just no way in hell. Gonna die like this. My only way to weight loss is fasting and calorie restricting because my heart can't keep up. Gonna die sucking on a ventilator. Or maybe ECMO. Unless I get my hands on a vial of insulin first. Not doin that shit by choice. Running. Who the fuck am I kidding.